Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez Lose Minds on “American Idol,” Jacob Lusk Impresses

So much for the idea that Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez are bringing more to the table than famed judge Simon Cowell ever did.

While the new “American Idol” judges received glowing marks for their performances in the audition and Hollywood rounds, that praise quickly faded in response to the duo’s first performance show on Tuesday. Judging the Top 12 Male Semifinalists alongside veteran Randy Jackson, Tyler and Lopez struggled to deliver the contestants anything but empty praise, losing credibility as their cheery comments grossly misaligned with what was a rather disappointing kickoff to the competition portion of “American Idol.”

The proclivity towards the egregious started early, with the two showering praise on second performer Jovany Barreto’s terrible rendition of “I’ll Be.” A textbook “elimination” performance, the very “karaoke” number had its share of off-key notes and absolutely zero moments of vocal brilliance. Barreto also had virtually no presence on stage nor any hint of charisma, offering little compensation for the vocal disappointment.

Yet Tyler and Lopez found much about which to be excited, with the Aerosmith frontman using the term “beautiful” to describe the performance. It was anything but that.

The insanity re-emerged later with unhinged praise for Brett Loewenstern, whose version of “Light My Fire” was an absolutely tragic travesty. The modestly-sung, excessively effeminate and weird performance, which should have been insulting to any rock and roll fans, was basically season ten’s answer to Sanjaya Malakar’s infamous take on “You Really Got Me.” Brett’s voice clashed with the song, and his weird movement and head-shaking had all the hamminess of Sanjaya at his worst–yet the judges (in this case, Randy Jackson included) ate it up. Where was Simon to go on a rant about how abysmally-bad this was?

Errant judgment also occurred in evaluation of Stefano Langone’s “Just the Way You Are.” While Stefano pulled things together at the end and demonstrated tremendous likability, the vocals were, on the whole, absolutely terrible. The rough start was as bad as any karaoke version heard in the country, and even as things picked up, they paled in comparison to the very-current and recognizable delivery of Bruno Mars. Yet, somehow, Steven Tyler “loved it.” And the insanity seemed contagious–Randy followed up on the Tyler and J-Lo praise by saying he could envision Stefano immediately hitting the radio. Not a chance.

Another contestant in Robbie Rosen, another blown criticism from the judges. Robbie had some true bright spots on Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel,” but he also drifted off key on a few occasions and hurt the emotional impact of the song with an odd, exceedingly-boring arrangement. Randy noticed the flaws, but J-Lo was enamored with the young singer’s storytelling ability, and Tyler again found the performance “beautiful.” Over the course of a simple, 90-minute telecast, Steven Tyler single-handedly destroyed that adjective.

And even when the judges chose to actually criticize a performance, the criticism was never proportionate to the disappointment of the performance nor particularly-specific or helpful. There was so much to mock in Jordan Dorsey’s “OMG,” ranging from his horrifically stiff dancing to his shaky vocals, but the two new judges could only say that it was not an ideal choice or reflective of his artistry. Of course not–but insofar as this is what America received from him, the judges should still be analyzing the performance itself. They should be reflecting on some of the things that went wrong and letting Jordan know that this was not just a case of choosing the wrong song–it was a case of butchering that already-awful track.

The same went for Tim Halperin’s atrocious take on “Streetcorner Symphony.” A cheesy song choice, the number also suffered from shaky vocals, the singer seemingly going off rhythm and Tim’s complete absence of stage presence, emotional attachment and excitement. It was even more of a prototypical “elimination performance” than what Jovany delivered earlier in the night. The judges, however, reduced their criticism to feeling let down by the performance–as if this was akin to Adam Lambert’s “Feeling Good.” This was the contestants’ first and only chance to secure votes for the finals; those who underdeliver, especially to as drastic an extent as Tim did, need to be harshly criticized.

Or at least honestly criticized. None of the aforementioned complaints are calling for the judges to be mean or insensitive. But part of judging is identifying a performance’s (and the performer’s) shortcomings to contextualize the performances for America and spur improvement in future weeks. Simon Cowell was able to influence voters because they knew that, save the occasional example of obvious bias, he was being honest. If Steven Tyler and J-Lo were truly being honest in liking all of these performances, they have no business in the music (it does not matter how many records they have sold). If they were simply avoiding delivering negative comments, they have no business judging.

Cowell was also missed on some of the performances that were good. Clint Jun Gamboa definitely came into his own by the end of “Superstition,” but the beginning was definitely rough and the song choice itself was very “safe” and “karaoke.” Those criticisms were never articulated, and the judges acted as if this performance from Clint was every bit as special as his show-stopping “Georgia on My Mind” from Hollywood. Was it the worst opening performance ever on “American Idol?” Absolutely not; it was, in fact, quite enjoyable. But part of judging is to help groom the contestants for excellence, and virtually no valuable wisdom was imparted on Clint. If he does not get voted through, his gut will be to blame the whole Jaycee controversy from Hollywood week. That incident undoubtedly hindered his ability to generate fans, but there was enough missing in this performance to deter voters. The judges gave him no opportunity to understand that.

The same can be written of James Durbin’s “You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’.” In many ways, the exciting, charismatic rock performance was exactly what this episode of “American Idol” needed. It was fun, the song was catchy, and James seemed fairly authentic in the role. He is no Adam Lambert vocally, but he might even be better suited for the actual rock column than the breakout season eight contestant was. The judges were absolutely right to applaud his effort.

At the same time, the performance certainly lacked polish. Steven Tyler was dead-on in calling this over-the-top, but it was a bit messier than that comment implies. Fun is important, but there were definitely moments in which James vocally and performance-wise came across as an amateur having a good time than as a seasoned professional. No one should hold that against him for the long-term, especially given the reduced standards of the night, but it is something he will need to address as the competition goes on. Pretending this was a basically perfect performance will downplay the meaning of strong adjectives when he actually delivers something excellent on stage.

The judges do, however, get a pass on Scotty McCreery. Evaluating the deep-voiced country singer is very difficult. On the one hand, his repeatedly-showcased “Your Man” audition was a perfect performance that captured exactly what he brings to the table as an artist. On the other hand, it set the bar so high that even a reliably great performance from McCreery might come across as “safe” or unoriginal. That, in some ways, was the case with “Letters from Home.” It was technically a great performance, capturing the vocal talent and understated charisma Scotty so successfully brings to the table. Yet it was not a risk. It was not a “put it all on the line” kind of performance. Some judges might have found flaws in the risk-aversion of the performance, but insofar as Scotty is so good at what he does (and probably does not need to evolve TOO much in order to be a successful recording artist), he might not need to go all out.

Paul McDonald was similarly-difficult to judge on “Maggie Mae.” McDonald’s interesting voice comes across like an understated version of James Blunt’s recognizable one, so delivering a successful impression of the also-similar-sounding Rod Stewart was not difficult. He sang the song well and believably. But was this anything special? An unusual performance by “Idol” standards does not necessarily mean it was a good or creative performance, and his weird, off-beat dancing and delivery cannot necessarily be read as charismatic or talented. Referencing his uniqueness was probably all the judges coudl do at this point–it will take a little while to determine how Paul’s voice truly fits into the competition.

The negative impact of overly-kind (if not totally clueless) judges was realized with the performances of Jacob Lusk and Casey Abrams. Both delivered phenomenal numbers Tuesday, but insofar as the judges had showered praise on many of the other contestants, Jacob’s and Casey’s tremendous numbers did not receive the attention and outpouring they deserved. “Praise” became such a hollow concept.

For Jacob, it was an absolutely brilliant rendition of “A House is Not a Home.” The vocal control this contestant manages to demonstrate, all while taking creative risks with the melody, is simply astounding. Coming across as an effeminate version of season three fan favorite George Huff, he also has immense likability. The guy’s style of music might not be for everyone, but with such a warm personality and a freakishly-talented vocal instrument, he is impossible not to respect. Even though the impact was hollowed by the judges’ other wrongly-applied praise, the comments regarding his likeness to Luther Vandross were well-deserved.

For Casey, it was a totally unique, purely exciting rendition of “I Put a Spell On You.” Granted, the performance was not without its flaws and questions–Casey Abrams is exceedingly musical, but insofar as he goes after spirit and artistry more than technical mastery, his vocals are not always pleasant–there were aspects of the song that would have come across terribly on the radio. But for what he is trying to bring to the table, he is a true great, and he is positioning himself for a long run on “American Idol.”

As the top two performers of the night by a mile, both Casey and Jacob should indeed be moving to the next round. Scotty was solid and probably enters the competition with the biggest fanbase (and most universal appeal), so his advancing to the finals is a no-brainer. James should also be a lock to advance.

The fifth spot (as well as any wildcard spots given to the males) is up in the air. Paul McDonald is interesting and certainly does not suffer from a hyped looks connection to Bradley Cooper. Stefano Langone has everything (other than the voice) that made David Archuleta appealing in season seven, so he could also be in the mix. Robbie Rosen, as a teenage contestant, will appeal to young voters and those who fell in love with him during the audition phase, so he also should not be counted out. Brett might get through on early promotion, or the Sanjaya-like insanity of his performance, but he’s unlikely to be a huge factor in the competition. Clint Jun Gamboa is unlikely to get through on votes, but he might be in the wildcard hunt.

Jordan Dorsey, Tim Halperin and Jovany Barreto will most likely see their “American Idol” runs ended on Thursday.

Performance Rankings:
1) Jacob Lusk
2) Casey Abrams
3) Scotty McCreery
4) James Durbin
5) Paul McDonald
6) Clint Jun Gamboa
7) Robbie Rosen
8) Stefano Langone
9) Jovany Barreto
10) Brett Loewenstern
11) Tim Halperin
12) Jordan Dorsey