Complete WWE RAW Results Report for March 12, 2012

By  | RAW Results Report for March 12, 2012:

CLEVELAND — With WrestleMania XXVIII a mere three weeks away, John Cena and The Rock used mics and instruments as weaponry as the two rivals continued to gear up for their “Once in a Lifetime” match in Miami. Also, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker did some verbal sparring of their own during a fiery confrontation. And Chris Jericho crashed CM Punk’s victory celebration with a serious personal attack over the TitanTron that hit the WWE Champion hard.

“The Doctor of Thuganomics” returned for one night only to rock the mic for the sold-out Cleveland crowd. Sporting an old-school Mark Price Cleveland Cavaliers jersey and his trademark padlock on a chain, Cena took shots at The Great One right off the bat, comparing him to LeBron James and dubbing him “G.I. Joke.” Cena pulled no punches as he broke down The Rock, rhyme by rhyme, before closing with a bold prediction for their WrestleMania XXVIII match.

Sheamus had his hands full with Ziggler, as the crafty Superstar used a couple of reversals to try to stun The Great White. In the end, though, Sheamus’ brute force proved to be the difference-maker as he drilled The Show-Off with a crushing Brogue Kick to surge to a big victory.

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan watched Sheamus in action from one of the skyboxes, accompanied by his main squeeze AJ. You can bet The Submission Specialist was scouting for possible holes in Sheamus’ defense as he prepares for their duel at WrestleMania XXVIII.

The odds were stacked against Santino as Henry and Otunga squashed the U.S. Champion in a Handicap Match, with Interim Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis looking on. The lopsided matchup raised the ire of Teddy Long, as the SmackDown General Manager came out to ringside and shoved Laurinaitis to the floor near the announce table. After the match, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth ran out to help rescue Santino from a 2-on-1 assault, but the duo of Henry and Otunga were too powerful to overcome.

Before the match, battle lines were drawn for Laurinaitis’ 12-Man Tag Team Match against Long at WrestleMania XXVIII, as Santino was announced as captain of the SmackDown GM’s team, while Otunga was revealed as the captain of Laurinaitis’ team. After the bout, Laurinaitis selected The World’s Strongest Man as the newest member of his team – a very dangerous addition to the pivotal GM battle.

Brodus Clay def. Jinder Mahal
The Funkasaurus has returned! And he hasn’t missed a funky beat. Brodus Clay showed off more dance moves than in-ring maneuvers as he made quick work of Jinder Mahal in his comeback to Raw.

After Shawn Michaels called The Deadman out to the ring, the two longtime rivals didn’t mince words in a heated face-to-face encounter. Undertaker warned that there will be hell to pay if Michaels didn’t do the right thing as special guest referee when The Phenom puts his 19-0 WrestleMania streak on the line against Triple H. The Showstopper left the ring with a visible smirk on his face, but before he could make it all the way to the back, he was met with a shoulder-bump from The Game himself.

Triple H also had a physical message for Undertaker — a DX chop — as he stared down his WrestleMania XXVIII opponent from the top of the entrance ramp.

Special guest ring announcer and Psych star James Roday gave The Miz a friendly introduction to his native Ohioans before a showdown with WWE Champion CM Punk. Despite the warm welcome, however, The Awesome One was anything but awesome in the ring as Punk made Miz tap with the Anaconda Vise.

Before The Straight Edge Superstar could finish celebrating his win, Chris Jericho appeared on the TitanTron and made things personal by telling the WWE Universe that the reason Punk embraces a straight-edge lifestyle is because of fears that he will end up like his alcoholic father. Jericho claimed he would leave Punk “a broken man” who would only be remembered as a “pathetic, damn drunk” after their WWE Championship Match at WrestleMania.

The crowd tried to lend their support to the emotionally wounded Punk, but there was no consoling The Second City Savior as he walked dejectedly back up the entrance ramp with his title in hand.

What at first looked like a tune-up match for a fired-up Randy Orton turned into a surprising physical fight against Jack Swagger. The All-American American used his size to his advantage and appeared to be close to pulling off the upset, but it was a one-way trip to RKO City for Swagger, much to a screaming Vickie Guerrero’s dismay.

While Orton struck his signature pose on the top turnbuckle, the lights hauntingly went red and Kane’s pyro rocked the arena. The Big Red Monster, though, was nowhere to be seen. Will Kane continue to stalk The Viper at his every turn?

The Cleveland faithful gave The Rock a rousing ovation before he even grabbed the mic and his guitar, and The Great One returned the love, saying they should be chanting “Cleveland! Cleveland!” instead of “Rocky! Rocky!”

The Rock then poked fun at Cena’s hip-hop style, saying he looked like a mash-up between Vanilla Ice and one of the Teletubbies. The Brahma Bull, who was just getting warmed up, started to berate Cena with a barrage of insults to the tune of Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock. No topics were off limits for The Rock, as he took jabs at The Cenation Commander-in-Chief’s rocky relationship with Eve before moving on to blasting the appearance of the members of Cenation. The Rock didn’t stop there, taking aim at Cena’s own mother by claiming she “could barely walk.”

In a fitting finale, The Great One switched up the lyrics to Queen’s We Will Rock You and took some parting shots at Cena as the crowd joined in with “Cena sucks!” between verses.